So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
