Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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