they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
