If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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