I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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