So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
