is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
