WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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