When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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