i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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