Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
