what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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