Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
