First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize