I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
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