dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
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There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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