yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
