Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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