How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
