he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
