Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
