Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
