South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
being pregnant is like rehab
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
