Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
