My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
