no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
