I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
