I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
