I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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