Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
