Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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