Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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