I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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