you guys were way drunker than both of me
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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