He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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