Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
