he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
