He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
