I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
