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• (516): View more from New York

  I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.

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• (516): View more from New York

  is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?

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• (925): View more from California

  Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you

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• (315): View more from New York

  sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.

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