Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link

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(281): View more from Texas

Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

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(512): View more from Texas

OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!

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(630): View more from Illinois

which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(661): View more from California

My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.

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(716): View more from New York

Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?

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(702): View more from Nevada

I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.

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