I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.