So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
