i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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