i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
