Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
