party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
