they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
