"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
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