please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
