Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
