Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
