On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
