Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
