I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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