dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
