so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
