My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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